No one and I mean no one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced and no one plans a family just to do it alone. Divorce was never in my vocabulary and becoming a single parent was never part of the plan. This era of my life… I never saw coming.

Marriage to me meant forever, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. Family meant two parents raising their child or children together, celebrating their successes together, going on holidays together, attending school events together and family events together. But life took a toll, trials and tribulations tested me and looking back it’s exactly what I needed to be able to break free and accept that life has other plans for me.

My healing journey hasn’t been easy, because when is healing ever actually easy? If it was, wouldn’t we all invest time and energy into recovery from past traumas? Traumas that we never asked for nor deserved.

I delayed my healing journey… not intentionally. There was a lack of education on healing and abuse when I left, so I just continued with life. I found it hard to accept that I was getting divorced and becoming a single parent. I carried so much shame and hurt. The toughest pill to swallow was that I had been in a domestic abusive relationship. Being a good mother while my world fell apart was the hardest role I’ve ever had to play. A role that tested my strength and resilience in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I did what I could to survive, dealing with the aftermath of leaving such a relationship. Dealing with post-separation abuse, family courts and co-parenting with an individual you just can’t co-parent with. During that time, everything was chaotic, because leaving a an abusive relationship is not like leaving a normal healthy relationship. Living in fear and dealing with the post-separation abuse all added to the mental load I was already carrying alongside all the hurt and pain.

I lost myself, my self-worth, my identity, my confidence and my self-esteem. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was overwhelmed, anxious, depressed and couldn’t function. I was tired all of the time, unmotivated and just wanted to be left alone. It’s like my mind and body were stuck and it was hard.

 I was surviving as it was my body’s way of keeping me safe. My body was stuck in this freeze response as a result of years of domestic abuse that I endured.

On my journey, I was surrounded by family who loved me, but they didn’t truly understand what I went through.

I also noticed there was a real lack of education and support for women around abuse, trauma and healing. All I knew was that something needed to change.

So, here I am part of the change, supporting women, educating women and empowering women to live life authentically, heal from trauma, rebuild their lives and navigate life with confidence and authenticity. Her Serenity was created to raise awareness of abuse, the impact it has on a woman's mental health and the hidden scars it leaves on one’s soul. I don’t want you to be alone in your journey. I want you to know that support is available. 

It’s scary to stay in a relationship that has become toxic, suffocating and full of broken promises and I understand it is equally scary to venture into the unknown especially when you have children. The dreams you once held of happy families… shattered and you realised that this journey isn’t going the way you had hoped and prayed for. I know how you completely lose yourself, your identity, your confidence, your self-esteem and your self-worth. You don’t know who to turn to or who to trust. It feels like you’ve hit rock bottom and the storm has knocked you down.

But I believe in you, I believe with the right support you can get back up again even amidst life’s storms.